I went out aLone

I went out aLone

I went out alone... with no plans... last time I remember myself doing that... I guess I was fourteen... my choice... it's been just like that... connections where weird, disconnections where awkward... but I'm always there... n' I will be, no matter what... the rest of the world may get wrong messages, but you both know how things are...
Well... three has always been enough, three o’ clock… it’s time to go...
But tonight… for me nothing is enough... message... Come right now, the place
is on fire, about to burst... I thought, well, night's saved... I may belong there... who cares?...lalala… As I open the door they say...Uuhh.. Look who's here... like I'm exactly what was left in the room...
Games where silly... Music was on, out loud… Suddenly lights are out, and so are our t-shirts... Guys look like kids with candies…Girls are all available, I'm just… Me... as usual... she's kind of ashamed, but she's losing it...
I took off my clothes slowly n’ leaned on the bed…She was just watching me, looking forward… He, was trying to act indifferent, pretending… that seemed lame n’ childish…I winked at her n’ she started crawling towards me… I whispered a few naughty things n’ looked into her eyes while I was licking her fingers… He seemed astonished, standing there, looking so weak, smiling… Boy, don’t be shy… why don’t you join us?... He approached us trembling… While I was biting his ear, licking his neck, breathing too close, she was licking my legs, n’ saying something… I really didn’t listen…I didn’t care… I was in charge of the whole situation… He was melting down… for sure… as I was scratching his back…
Bring them all... So they came, to the floor...Sometimes, girls are hard to convince, but we are so fucking good at it... She said she likes my nails or something, that I'm somehow sweet n soft... but why does she thinks I care at all?...
I'm too tired... so I nap for a while...to wake up later, feeling much easier... I looked for my belts and saw the sunlight... Night's gone n I've got so much to do... I still smell like him, she smells like me... we've mixed our forces, that’s what he always says… I love you all, but I should go... just keep going, not thinking much...


Sophie